Experiences Over Possessions?
In a travel company commercial, Ewan McGregor waxes poetic about traveling as a means to overcome the regret of an unlived life in lieu of buying smartphones, perfumes, and tvs. The final line of the ad: “Do you think any of us will look back in our lives and regret the things we didn't buy or the places we didn't go?”
This follows our culture’s warped definition of what it means to “live life to it’s fullest” - that is, achieving a “bucket list” of rare, unique, expensive and grandiose experiences. Trend forecaster James Wallman told the Guardian in 2017: “If you think about the 20th century, the big dominant value system was materialism, the belief that if we had more stuff we’d be happier… the big change to what I call ‘experientialism’ is more about finding happiness and status in experiences instead.”
Really, there isn’t a difference in seeking happiness and status from material possessions and experiences. Believing experiences are somehow more noble or enduring than possessions is to fall for the same old grift that “this time it will be different.” Both possessions and experiences don’t last, will never last and will set us up to be perpetually dissatisfied if we’re not careful.
Ultimately it’s not the possessions or experiences that we want, but the happiness we believe we will derive from them. We aren’t wrong. We’ve all felt some happiness that was preceded by the acquisition of a thing, experience, achievement or relationship. But take a moment to think about this happiness that was felt. You’ll discover that what was felt was always the same happiness. There’s nothing “more happy” about opening a christmas present and the happiness felt of going on a trip to the Cinque Terre in Italy -- it’s just the circumstances that have changed.
Simply the fact that an object or an activity or a possession can make us happy one day and indifferent the next should be all the information we need to enable us to see clearly that happiness can never be derived from an object or an experience. It has absolutely nothing to do with the object or the activity and it has everything to do with what takes place in our mind and our heart. All that is required to experience continuous peace and happiness is to say yes to our current circumstance.
Founding director of the Johns Hopkins Center for Psychedelic and Consciousness Research, Dr. Roland Griffiths gave an interview after his diagnosis with Stage 4 metastatic colon cancer in the New York Times where he was asked, “So you have this sense, near the end of your life, of waking up to life’s real meaning. What’s the most important thing for everyone else who’s still asleep to know?” Dr. Griffiths' response would work just as well for Ewan’s question, “Do you think any of us will look back in our lives and regret the things we didn't buy or the places we didn't go?”
I want everyone to appreciate the joy and wonder of every single moment of their lives. We should be astonished that we are here when we look around at the exquisite wonder and beauty of everything. I think everyone has a sense of that already. It’s leaning into that more fully. There is a reason every day to celebrate that we’re alive, that we have another day to explore whatever this gift is of being conscious, of being aware, of being aware that we are aware. That’s the deep mystery that I keep talking about. That’s to be celebrated!